Hostel Stories: 5 Girls and the Lost Underwear

OK, I’m certainly a believer in the charm that a rustic condition can offer. But now It’s been two days without electricity in my hostel, yet it’s just hot enough to dread the sweaty hassle of moving to a new place – and so here I am. In fact I’m now down the street using a neighbors wifi and drinking ‘agua con gas’ to try to cure this vicious hangover. A simple glass of wine with last night’s dinner began the swift erosion of my one month sobriety and I ended up at the cheesiest disco / breakdance variety show with a Mexican traveler called Ivan surrounded by more transvestites that I have been for a while. Since 2007 in Phuket in fact. I always enjoy these bizarre creatures; their flamboyant revelry adds a certain spice to any party and they seemed especially enamored by this early 90s techno.

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One Shaven Armpit in the Twilight of Mexico City Airport

Mexico City Airport, 12:43am. There’s no better time to start writing than when I haven’t slept in 2 days, and the only thing keeping me going, besides a lukewarm cup of airport coffee, is the incentive to stay awake so I don’t miss my connecting flight. If I put my head down now, the next moment I’ll be waking up to the poke of a janitor’s broom and a missed flight. I know this because it’s happened before. After getting off the plane I immediately got lost and somehow managed to have to go through immigration twice tailed by a Colombian named Hugo who was in a similar predicament. After immigration we’d been asked to leave the gate area until 4am and wait in the cold snack area. I was feeling a little edgy. ‘A little edgy’ is how I tend to engage with life. However it’s not the lack of sleep or the lukewarm coffee that has me vexed, it’s the razor burn that’s having a party in my right armpit. My left armpit is ‘au natural’ and it”s all part of a empirical study I am conducting on the advice of my friend Todd. An avid adventurer, Todd told me you an bring less clothes when traveling if you shave your armpits. I planned to travel light but I decided to not fully adopt the technique until I tested it, after all, Todd was also the kind of guy who implanted a magnet in his finger so he could sense magnetic currents. What works for Todd might not work for everyone and right now I would wax my left eyebrow in exchange for some baby powder. Continue reading “One Shaven Armpit in the Twilight of Mexico City Airport”

A Prologue

The first step is to throw away all your porno. That’s step one of my proposed strategy to master temptation, prompt some healthy change and quite possibly get myself robbed, married, lost or anything in between. It’s all part of an ongoing cycle of iterative, life-tweaking spurts that I implement every couple of years. Important to note: subsequent steps also include: taking an advanced motorcycle course, learning Spanish and heading to South America for a few months – but not before a 10 day silent Vipassana meditation retreat and the systematic shaving of an armpit.

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