Wow, amazing how much can happen in a year! After feeling entirely burnt out in 2015 I decided to put everything in storage and attended yoga teacher training last winter in Thailand. It blew open my mind, gave me new tools to heal my body and revealed aspects of my spirit that I didn’t even know existed. What I thought it would just be a quick one month retreat and-then-back-to-business-as-usual turned into a deep 5 month exploration of consciousness. A subsequent journey through Thailand and Bali provided a backdrop for revealing all sorts of old junk and a lingering, unresolved anxiety at the core of my character. The more I observed, the more I realized that this subtle yet persistent feeling had been influencing my behavior since childhood. In fact I’d crafted a complex world of distraction as a way to avoid it. I didn’t feel like I really belonged anywhere. I never really felt at ease. And no matter what I achieved outwardly or how elaborately I distracted myself, the feeling was always there, just under the surface until it bubbled up in outbursts of unresolved emotion.
Eventually I returned to California and while I didn’t feel like I’d solved everything, I felt armed with a new sense of patience and a resolution to continue on my path of exploration. I might not know exactly what was coming next, but I at least know how I wanted it to feel and that was fine with me. So with a less overstimulated nervous system and an increased sense of intuition I began listening for cues and followed a string of unexpected occurrences to an inspiring community project in the wilderness of Oregon. Well, we just sealed the deal on purchasing the land and we are beginning the hand-off from the previous owners this month. So I’ll be spending a lot of my foreseeable future in a little cabin, nestled on the hillside of a small valley, sitting between a beautiful clean river to the south and old growth forest to the north. I’m inspired to continue to explore, heal and strengthen all aspects of my character while being committed to building something real and sustainable with a community of bright, energized and activated people.
Yes indeed, it’s amazing how much can happen in a year! I’m looking forward to sharing how this project unfolds <3
Thanks to Jana Renee Roemer, Sarah Zandbeek for jump starting this adventure …and my fellow students who were awesome to work with, including one of my best buds Mark Roemer who limped his way through the whole thing after mashing up his knee the week before the course started!